Unacceptable Swear Words in New Zealand

Warning: Adult Language ahead!

We are being desensitised toward profanity!

The New Zealand Broadcasting Standards Agency has published a document called 'What Not to Swear: The Acceptability of Words in Broadcasting'. Original document @ BSA.govt.nz

It has revealed that many NZ'ers are not too offended anymore by words they hear on the radio and tellybox, such as, bugger, bloody, crap, bullshit, balls, shit, bastard, prick, arsehole, wanker, whore, retard and faggot just to name a few.

51% of NZ'ers do not appreciate having their South Pacific ears soiled by the word 'Fuck' but in 2009 a massive 74% (down from 79% in 1999) of people still consider the undisputed heavyweight champion of swear words to be the one which is absolutely guaranteed to offend. I am of course talking about the one, the only. 'C-u-n-t'.

See You Next Tuesday.

Check out Kiwiblog's take on the issue >

Should New Zealand become a state of Australia?

The answer is generally a distinct 'no!', but you might be surprised just how many people out there in Aotearoa who do not completely disregard the idea.

In many ways, NZ and Australia are closer neighbours than many other nations, given their shared colonial past, ANZAC traditions and free interchangeable residency policies. Indeed, once upon a time, when the Australian commonwealth was formed, New Zealand had the option of joining it.

This makes New Zealand and Australia a great deal more compatible than say Canada and the USA. Both Australia and NZ have the same kind of Parliamentary democracy (although Australia has Federal elements) and both countries base their laws upon English common law.

As a relative newcomer to NZ (since 2003) I find that economically it actually would make sense for NZ and Australia to join in a federation. Much of NZ's business is already owned by Australia and this has apparently made NZ a little bit more insulated from the world economic crisis. Perhaps this is an example of the benefits a cross-Tasman union could bring.

What do you think?

Muzzerino.com

Introducing CamperCo. Backpacker Campervan Rentals!

Don't you just hate all those vans that you see driving around New Zealand covered in nasty graffiti and graphics which just scream 'hey! look at us, we're some cheap-ass backpackers coming to foul your beautiful South Pacific paradise!'... I mean, yes, that may well be the case, but there is no need to advertise it! (jokes)

Well, I just found out that my good mate Nicko down in Sunny Nelson has gone and partnered up with his mate Andy to create what is surely the best thing to happen to the backpacker van rental industry in NZ. A no nosnense, well designed affordable and reliable camper van company (CamperCo)

From my own experience one of the worst things than can happen when hiring a camper van in NZ (or anywhere I suppose) is that it simply is not functional. You end up with a double bed and the rest of your crap gets stuffed into whatever cavities are left. The result is an absolute mess!

The guys at CamperCo however have spent many an hour trying out the best designs to maximise space and storage for the travelling tourist. If you are new to the Camper van scenario then trust me, this is worth its weight in gold.

Go and check them out >> CamperCo.co.nz

New Zealand Skyhawks SOLD! (maybe?)

The decommissioned Royal New Zealand Air Force A-4 Skyhawks which have been sitting on the ground for the last 8 years are nearly sold.

The 17 jets were deemed useless by the NZ labour government at the time along with a further 17 Aermacchi MB-339 and they took the decision (stupid in my opinion) to retire the aircraft with nothing to succeed them. Most of the RNZAF's fighter pilots subsequently left New Zealand to serve in the Royal Australian Air Force and the UK Royal Air Force. Defence minister Wayne Mapp has expressed a desire for the Aermacchi fleet to return to service, but Prime Minister John Key says it is extremely unlikely that any jet training will be restored.

The US Government have blocked the sale of the Skyhawks over the last several years undoubtedly as a shrug to NZ's anti-nuclear policy but the cold (military) relations between New Zealand and the United States have thawed somewhat in recent years and now the US have finally given State Department, Congress and Bureau of Alcohol, Firearms and Tobacco approval.!

So what is the NZ taxpayer getting back for this depletion in our airspace security?
about $155 Million NZ Dollars. Thats about 38 bucks for each person in NZ.

Ok, I know that buying new planes and upkeep would be more than that but my point is, in the vast pocket of the treasury, surely they can find a few million bucks to buy even a handfull of new jet aircraft for the (tiny) RNZAF. I have a rationale, if you are interested.

New Zealand, I hope it was worth it.

• related: NZ Needs Fighter Planes! >>
• related: US/NZ Training ban likely to end >>
  

Scots in New Zealand : A Guide

If you are a Scot who is coming to New Zealand to live, or even for a holiday, you might like this random little guide to some things that you might find when you get here...

Language Quirks.
(Using the Scotland accent as a baseline comparison, as long as you don't roll the 'R')

How things sound....

• Kah = A Motor Vehicle
• Folk = Usually used with a knife
• Noife = Usually used with a fork
• Naw-oo = To answer in the negative
• Yese = To answer in the affirmative
• Patty = A social gathering
• Sher = Something you use in the morning to get clean
• Texas = What you must pay to the government
  
• FS = What you pay to get on a plane
• Eh-Points = What you earn as a frequent flyer
  
• Choi-nah = An Asian country
• Pooh-piss = The object toward which one strives or for which something exists
• Gools = Young females
• Fleg = The wavy thing than represents a nation.
• Grend-Foi-null. = the final game of a Sporting competition.
• Bee = An Alcoholic beverage
• Woking = Not quite as fast as running
• Wooled = Our planet
• Ooth = The name of our planet
• Spote = Organised physical activity
• Dota = Female offspring
• Mooda = To kill someone
• Nooses = Valued employees in hospitals
• Broi-berry = A crime
• Oy = to see with
• Oy = Myself
• Stendids = Everyone should have them
• Hezid = Danger
• Ba = A public house
• Lie-buh = NZ political party
• Nesha-null = NZ political party
• Pooh-sins = More than one human
• Foost = better than 2nd
• Woe-ta = A clear drinking fluid
  
• Boke = Something you read
• Peen = Something you write with
• Teen Munuts = A unit of time, (minutes) one more than 9
• Seventeen = $7.10
• Deet = When you owe someone money
• Tomb = A part of the school year
• Palli-mint = Where the government meets
  
• Kroist = Our Lord
• Tramah = Trauma
• Low-ah = Law
• Voodict = Something the jury should arrive at
• Cote = A legal venue
• Toking = Expressing yourself orally
• Quota = A fraction
• Pooh-voot = A person who displays an unhealthy sexual desire over someone
  
• Kroish = A place to send your kids while you are working
• Fush = Sea creature
• Oakland = New Zealand's largest city
• Kroist-Chooch = The south islands largest city
• Sand = Something you hear
• Unglund = The nation south of Scotland
• Meericas-cap = A huge sailing event (which no one else in the world watches)
• Hole = A large room
• Skol = Where kids go to learn
• Looning = Something you should be doing at school
• Booth-Die = Celebration of the day you were born
  
• Wook = What you do to earn your wages
• Moaning = The earliest part of the day
  
• Fearie = A vessel used for car and passenger transport
• Fearie = A magical flying creature
• O-strall-yah = The nation to the west of NZ

How things differ...

• Bought = Brought
• Brought = Bought
• Furtherest = Furthest
• Cellphone = Mobile phone
• Chips = Crisps
• Chips = Chips
• Soccah = Football
• Station-Wagon = Estate car
• Jug = Kettle
• Flog = Steal
• Chook (sounds like: choke) - Chicken
• Shiela's = Women
• Rort = Fraud

"should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?"

"should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?"

First of all what the hell is a smack? can someone define it for me?

• I smacked my kid
• I smacked that bloke who was looking at my wife
• I smacked me neighbour in the jaw for parking his car in my driveway

???

Also can someone explain something else?

Why the hell does the question say "...in New Zealand?"

I know I live in New Zealand. It is a New Zealand referendum. It does not apply to Fiji, Cuba or South Africa. Why the hell do Kiwis have to drop 'New Zealand' into everything?

Maybe I am being an arse but sorry, no one else in the world is going to see the TV ads or vote on it except NZ'ers.

The question is also loaded. I would feel stupid if I voted 'yes' on it, but I am not voting at all, because I feel that those who wrote the question are putting words into my mouth.

As far as I know, it is NOT a criminal offence to 'correct' your child physically if needed to stop them from harming themselves or others.

So not only do we have an ambiguous referendum question, we have one steeped in a South Pacific identity crisis.

You live in New Zealand during Winter when...

You live in New Zealand during winter when...

1. You are sitting in the work staffroom first thing in the morning and laughing at the local expat Scotsman because he must be 'used' to the cold while you sit there and drink your tea with your gloves and big coat on...
2. You go out for a nice relaxing meal and leave your jacket on the whole time...
3. You buy a $1 Million dollar NZ house and then run out to buy a bunch of crappy little fan heaters from the warehouse to try and keep it warm...
4. You move into your picture-postcard perfect NZ house only to discover that you have bought a 'leaky home' and the walls turn into soggy biscuits.
   
5. You turn up to school and attend class with your scarf and gloves on but everyone considers it 'normal'...
6. You buy a dehumidifier to combat the moisture from your portable gas heater and then have to open the windows so you do not die from too much carbon-dioxide...
   
7. You get out of the shower in the morning, open the bathroom door then 'run the gauntlet' back to your bedroom where your little 1000w fan heater is waiting to greet you.
8. Your cat refuses to eat its food because it is so cold it cannot smell it.
9. You see a picture from a wintry Canada and although it looks nice, you say "I wouldn't want to live there!, it looks too cold!...
   
10. You laugh at people from 'cold' countries such as Canada, Scotland and Norway whilst not realising they are warm, healthy and dry. (unlike you)
Lol!

Kiwi Houses Exposed as a health risk..

Seriously Though, check these stats!

1. 45% of existing homes are mouldy
2. 16% of homes have no insulation at all
3. 21% of people aged 18–24 say their home is cold and uncomfortable
4. 84% of households say they don’t have the financial means to make energy-saving renovations
5. Typically more than one third of the energy used in the home is for keeping warm
6. Nearly two thirds of homes in New Zealand were built before insulation became a legal requirement in 1979—just over one million properties
7. More than a quarter of the nation’s homes could be making their occupants ill
8. More than 75% of people who rented or bought a home in the past two years did not check insulation, hot water cylinders, heaters and other water and energy efficiency appliances

New Zealand Winter Sucks.

Read more at Idealog.

10 Million New Zealand Dollars? Goneburgers!

Interpol is involved in the worldwide search for a New Zealand couple who have run off with millions of dollars worth of money from a New Zealand bank (westpac) after they accidentally received 10 Million Dollars instead of 10 Thousand...oops.

What would you do? Run? or hand it over?

I guess pretty much most people would hand the money back but you have to admit, the temptation to just bolt with the cash would be very tempting, especially if you fled to a country which doesn't have an extradition treaty with your own. (NZ)

I am in two minds about this one. Part of me thinks they should hand it over and part of me thinks "good on ya!"

As they say in New Zealand, that money is 'goneburgers!'..... at least for now.

Moving Back to Scotland from New Zealand

I left Scotland in 2002 when I met my other (Canadian) half. We now Live in Auckland, New Zealand.



We love it, but after visiting back home to Scotland twice in the last few years, I find that I miss it and could easily move back.



In a few years time, due to family reasons we probably will move to the northern hemisphere again either to my partners home of Nova Scotia in Canada, or my home of Edinburgh, Scotland.



I was one of those people who always wanted to emigrate and I did. I feel really happy about emigrating and I have amazing adventures to show for it. Once we hit retirement (we are only 30 at the mo) we will probably end up coming back to Aotearoa (NZ)



Is Scotland a good place to move back to? obviously there is the family links and amazing social scene which I have to admit, is far better than anything in NZ or even Australia for that matter. There is the culture, history and festivals which all fall in the correct season for my northern sensibilities (I hate a warm Xmas).



One thing that I discovered after I left Scotland is when there is a show on TV here in NZ about Scotland or even the UK in general is how bloody amazing it looks from the other side of the fence. New Zealand and Australia have the beaches and the warm weather (although don't get me started on NZ winter) and Scotland definitely lacks in consistent blue skies and high temperatures, but what about Scottish Winter?



Winter in Edinburgh is absolutely amazing! having lived through some very hot summers I can tell you, if it has to be cold in winter, I would prefer the nice crisp and clean air that we get in a lovely winters day in Scotland than the wet, uncomfortable winters day in Auckland.



Another thing that looks great from the other side of the fence is the nature and history. NZ has amazing scenery but then so does Scotland. The thing Scotland has in addition to the amazing scenery is the history and stories that go with it. One thing I find it hard to comprehend is that New Zealand is actually slightly larger than the island of Great Britain, but with only 4 million people it seems that even after my initial 6 week tour, I basically saw the majority of the place.



The UK however is somewhere that you could explore for many years and you would still never see it all.



When we move, I will miss New Zealand. Its an easier and perhaps slower pace of life here. People are friendly and the beaches and the weather are amazing. But once upon a time I would have placed weather and exotic isolation near the top of my list on places to go, I guess they have lost the top spot to things like culture and family and the proximity of Europe.



It is an interesting reversal that probably comes with getting older.



So, in a few years time, we will leave NZ to move back to Edinburgh or Nova Scotia and then I will discover if all those things we get nostalgic for are worthwhile or not.



I'd love to hear from anyone who has done this!



Muzzerino

Comedy Central has finally arrived in New Zealand on Sky TV

Yes!

Comedy Central has finally arrived in New Zealand on Sky TV

Fur TV, American Dad, Robot Chicken, The Roast, why the hell did we in NZ not see this stuff before?

This is by far my new favourite channel! and its free!

Why the hell would I pay for crap like Sky Movies when we have this! Whoo Hoo!

ps. only one bad thing though, do they really need to repeat the ads for other shows quite so much? I can recite them all by heart now and its making me go a bit mad.

New Zealand from Space : Hi Resolution Image

New Zealand from Space : Hi Resolution Image

The Real Waitangi Day : NZ's National Day

Kia Ora.

New Zealand's national day "Waitangi Day" is upon us again!

For those of you who do not know, Waitangi day is the yearly celebration where Pakeha New Zealanders and Maori New Zealanders come together to celebrate their common / shared nationhood.

In 1840 both Pakeha and Maori first came together as one to hunt the Waitang.

The Waitang is a small furry animal native to Aotearoa New Zealand which lives underground in much of the upper North Island (Northland). They can grow up to 17 inches in length and have a light black coat and distinct pale green skin. After long periods of hibernation, small groups of Waitang come out from their burrows in search of food supplies on February 6th every year.

Native Maori have enjoyed the Waitang as a delicacy for centuries. In the late 19th century, European Pakeha (colonists) also tried eating the the Waitang and found it to be a "sweet, tender and juicy" treat, which makes up for it's unappealing look.

Activists from Pakeha and Maori have, in recent years put the spotlight on the annual hunt, where knives, guns and cricket bats have been used to kill the defenceless Waitang.

Overall however, Waitangi day is a day to be cherished and although very few people get to hunt or even see the Waitang, most enjoy the day for the warm weather and relaxation.

I am looking forward to Waitangi day 2010 and I'll be sure to clean the blood and green skin off my cricket bat from last year.

Ka Kite Ano.

You Can Read about the Actual Waitangi Day Here >>

If you find the above article offensive, go and jump in the lake.

Pohutukawa Tree. New Zealand Xmas Tree

he Pōhutukawa flowers from November to January with a peak in mid to late December (the southern hemisphere summer), with brilliant crimson flowers covering the tree, hence the nickname New Zealand Christmas Tree.

There is variation between individual trees in the timing of flowering, and in the shade and brightness of the flowers. In isolated populations genetic drift has resulted in local variation: many of the trees growing around the Rotorua lakes produce pink-shaded flowers, and the yellow-flowered cultivar "Aurea" descends from a pair discovered in 1940 on Mōtiti Island in the Bay of Plenty.

christmas, widescreen, desktop, Pohutukawa, tree, Xmas, New Zealand, Photo, Images

Dear Mr Key, NZ house prices are still too high!

In order to stem the flow of Kiwis leaving New Zealand for a better life elsewhere, New Zealand has to actively attract immigrants such as myself from the UK and many other from all over the world, specifically many parts of Asia, Canada and South Africa.

I came to New Zealand as a backpacker in 2003 and got the chance to stay on and gain permanent residency.

New Zealand summers are amazing, the flora and fauna is exotic (compared to UK) and the people are friendly, helpful and overall New Zealand is a very safe country to live in.

There is of course however, no such thing as a free lunch.

New Zealand, like many places does have its "cons" and one of these is the unavoidable fact that NZ has a low wage economy. Jobs in NZ pay far less then their counterparts in other countries such as the UK or Canada and this seems to be generally accepted by many people, because the New Zealand lifestyle is much better and this is what makes up for it.

Or does it?

Yes the Summers are warm and long, eating out is very cheap and petrol costs far less than in the UK, but there is one very important component in the New Zealand lifestyle that remains unattainable for many people including myself.

Owning our own home.

New Zealand house prices, especially those in Auckland are hideously expensive and I have no idea why. Yes many houses in NZ are fully detached, something that people in UK terraced housing can only dream about, but consider this, for approx $350,000 NZD in Auckland you will maybe be able to buy a small 1 or 2 bedroom unit in a decent area. This unit will not be detached (obviously) no central heating or double glazing and may not even have proper insulation.

I am comparing this to two other places that I know very well. Nova Scotia, in Canada and Edinburgh, Scotland. Nova Scotia in particular is also quite a low wage economy and the prices of houses, fuel, food reflect this. Scotland is a high wage economy by comparison and the house prices, fuel, food also reflects it, makes sense.

For $350,000 (approx 131,000 British Pounds or 238,000 Canadian Dollars) you could buy a regular semi detached house in Edinburgh or and incredible 3 bedroom fully detached home in Nova Scotia, Canada both of which will almost always offer solidly built, well insulated and with economic central heating. Take a look at this startling comparison.

New Zealand Average Price in NZD = $405,235
United States Average Price in NZD = $369,839
United Kingdom Average Price in NZD = $347,992
Australia Average Price in NZD = $623,107

I have already ranted on about the need for New Zealand homes to have decent heating and insulation through the NZ winter, see here >>

So, in summary, NZ is exotic to many people, including myself and I love it here, but when it comes to the basics, lets think about it, low wages + high priced housing = more people will be leaving!

John Key, the new Prime Minister of NZ had said throughout his election campaign that the National Party would address the issue of people leaving NZ, I desperately hope that this issue of extortionately prices New Zealand housing will be high up on his list.

(the image is of a fully insulated, double glazed, dry and warm house in Nova Scotia, Canada)

Muzzerino

New Zealand Invasion and Defence

Disclaimer: if you get offended by this blog post or feel that it somehow puts NZ down in anyway, I apologise. This is a hypothetical analysis of how the current standing of the NZDF is viewed in my opinion. If you disagree with me on any point, then please feel free to make a comment. But please refrain from making silly remarks which have nothing to contribute to the subject.

I would like to think it would never happen, but if it did, just how would New Zealand fend off a potential invasion from a well armed aggressor?

Lets say that sometime in the future these islands of only 4 million people came under surprise attack by the armed forces of a nation with its eyes on NZ's vast natural resources just how would our gallant forces respond?

Air Attack.

I suppose any surprise attack would initially come from the Air, on 2 of our major cities, Auckland and Wellington. Auckland would be the most sensible target given the size of the city and the strategic location of the harbour in the pacific and Wellington would be surely attacked for its role as seat of Government, communications and organisational HQ.

The New Zealand Army does have the Mistral VLLAD (Very Low Level Air Defence) a modern air defence missile effective up to 3000 metres altitude but as far as high altitude air defence goes NZ remains vulnerable, with no effective weaponry to combat such an attack.

The Royal New Zealand Navy Frigates HMNZS Te Mana and Te Kaha are armed with the Sea Sparrow missile. This is the only weapon capable of intercepting threats from high altitudes in NZ and given enough warning, these ships could potentially knock out at least a few enemy aircraft and missiles if the ships were ready for it and in the correct location.

Sea Attack.

Assuming a fleet of enemy vessels wanted to attack our major ports, then we would surely see them coming via the P3-K Orion and general shipping communications. An Orion can carry under wing Air to Surface weaponry such as the Harpoon missile although there is no information regarding NZ's capability in this area.

NZ's small fleet of Sea Sprite Helicopters could embark on a defensive position within the Hauraki Gulf armed with the Maverick Air to Surface missile and this could potentially destroy or severely damage enemy vessels given the opportunity should the enemy not deny them the ability to fly.

Land Attack

Once the enemy lands in New Zealand, the NZ Army and the NZSAS would likely launch a limited guerilla style campaign against the enemy. New Zealand has no efective conventional battlefield ability such as tank and artillery, if such equipment were deployed, it could be effectively neutralised by high altitude enemy aircraft.

Overall

Its not looking good and as much as Kiwis like to make fun of Australia, they would undoubtedly be the first ones we would call in the event of any attack.

Muzzerino.

Conventional Invasions are highly unlikely, but NZ does have enemies. For example, the NZSAS have just been sent back to Afghanistan and lets face it, they are not there to just bake cookies.

You may also like...

• Tsunami the first test of HMNZS Canterbury >

Nia Glassie

If ever I was to support the Death Penalty it would be for this.

Nia Glassie was a 3 year old girl who was tortured to death by her family.

(from NZ Herald) A child witness saw Nia Glassie "slam dunked on the ground", choked and put in a hot tumble dryer until her head bleed, the trial into the three-year-old's death heard today.

---

People in New Zealand are angry about this, especially since this is not the first time it has happened, indeed there seems to be a very high rate of child murder in New Zealand compared to international averages. Maori in particular seem over-represented in these statistics.

The Death Penalty is an emotional response to crime by the state, yet the state should not be emotional, it should be objective.

Can the Death Penalty be issued in a dispassionate way? I think the death penalty in its very nature is an passionate response.

My emotional response as I write this would be to kill the bastards that did this to little 3 year old Nia Glassie.

If the Judge and Jury and the legal system itself were to be emotional in its judgements upon criminals, I would argue that some crimes (depending on the circumstances and context) would resonate more emotionally with some people and not so much with others resulting in an imbalance where sentences may be handed out unevenly.

At the end of the day, it is an imperfect legal system where this crime may be thrown in the "murder" basket when it is in fact, so much more than just "murder".

Muzzerino.

New World Self Checkouts

New Zealand's New World supermarkets have a new toy. Self Checkouts.
Looks like a great idea, you scan items yourself, pack them yourself, then pay and leave.

Unfortunately I have discovered a bit of a flaw in this system at my local supermarket.

At my local Devonport branch they have 4 self-checkouts, but the other day I turned up and only 2 were working. The other 2 checkouts had the "Checkout Closed" sign up.

Now forgive me here but I thought the whole point in this system was that no staff were required, except to supervise. I figured it would be quicker for the customer to get through the self checkouts.

There I was standing in a queue behind about 2 people at the self checkouts while the other 2 self checkouts were "closed".

How can they be"closed"? were the robots out having a cigarette break or at the toilet? perhaps the staff in the supermarket have an insatiable perverted desire to simply put the "checkout Closed" sign up at any opportunity, even on the self checkouts in some bizarre fetish to annoy customers?

I don't know. All I do know is that the only advantage to this system was for it to be quicker, yet that advantage has been neutralised when they close the "self checkouts" because of....well I don't know why, just because.

Maybe the hamsters inside the Self Checkouts were tired.

Winston Peters Guilty

Politicians eh?

NZ Foreign Minister Winston peters has been found guilty by the privileges committee of misleading parliament on party donations.

I still don't see what the big deal is, all politicians do stuff like this.

Opposition Leader John Key has just been found out for trading shares in tranzrail, a company that the government was buying back at the time he was moaning about it.

I really hope Winston bounces back on this one, I am sure it cost far more money to investigate him than the $100,000 donation he apparently did not declare.

If he should be investigated for this, then so should John Key.

Visit Winston Peters Blog

Muzzerino

The Moon is Upside Down

The Moon is Upside Down

One day, late in 2002, I arrived in Australia. I looked up into the night sky one clear Sydney evening and saw it. "Holy crap, the moon is upside doon!" (thats Scottish for "Down")

The "man in the moon" was indeed there though, but I had to sort of turn my head and twist my neck before I could see his crater scarred face looking back at me, upside down "cooooool" I said to myself.

Since then I've moved from Australia to NZ, where being a bit further south, the moon is ever more upside down.

A couple of times I have dropped the fact that the moon is upside down into the odd random conversation here and there, what I find interesting is the amount of people who don't believe me!

I was in Paihia (Small NZ Tourist Town) a few years ago for summer and I met up with a bunch of other backpackers (mostly English) and we hung out having drinks each night and I mentioned to some of them "have you noticed that the moon is upside down?" a couple of them thought I was winding them up, others gave me a strange stare as if I was on drugs.

"Um, no" was the reply from one of the girls, "what are you talking about?" and I tried to explain to her the fact that when we are in New Zealand or Australia, we are pretty much upside down in relation to where we would be back in the UK, therefore the moon appears to be upside down to our perspective.

This merely gained me more strange looks and after an awkward silence, someone simply changed the subject.

I've noticed that Some people love it when this question is raised. It often leads the conversation in a direction other than how good last nights episode of Coronation Street was or how hot Justin Timberlake looked at that award ceremony the other night.

I admit, I have an ulterior motive when I ask that sort of question to someone I may have just met, because what I am actually asking is, "do you think the world is flat?"

Now of course if you were to ask that question directly to anyone, they would always say "no, don't be stupid" but asking about the moon being upside down is another way of asking the same thing.

Someone's reaction, or level of interest pretty much lets me know if they are someone Ill get on with or not :-)

The Moon is Upside Down by Muzzerino

Moon / Upside / down / southern / hemisphere /

Boriscam : Boris the Cat, Live From New Zealand

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