The Morning After the Office Party

Steven woke up with a killer hangover after attending his firm's Christmas Party.

He didn't even remember how he got home. It's 8.30. What day is it?
Thursday. His wife must have gone to work.

As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding
headache, his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last
night.

He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a
couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the
garden.

He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of
drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window
and all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also pristine, and,
squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye. This
was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.

As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a
post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in red,
with little hearts on it and a kiss from his wife.

'I'll ring your office and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast
is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the
morning. There's snooker on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today,
hope your eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you,
darling! '

He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son was sitting at
the table, eating.

Steven, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous
night.

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You
fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the
hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. '

Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect
order, aspirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting
for me?'

His son replied, 'Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone you
slapper, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table £250
Hot Breakfast £3.50
Two Aspirins 20p
Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS'